Father’s Day is drawing near. Although it is not celebrated here in SK on the third Sunday of June, it is impossible to forget this important occasion, since I have started receiving emails about gift ideas and promos for Dads.
When Dad was still with us, I would make him a card or write him a letter on Fathers’ Day, and come to see him in his humble little house in Dao.
When I was a little girl, I would draw him a caricature with a big “I LOVE YOU, DADDY” that my Mom helped me spell.
This afternoon, I was reviewing some of my old notes in my Facebook homepage, and found a poem and a letter I wrote for Daddy that I would like to share with daughters and sons out there.
It’s my Daddy’s birthday tomorrow. As a tribute to the man who has “held up” the sun for me when I was younger… I am posting a poem I wrote for him on his birthday eleven years ago.
I thank God because he holds your heart
He clothes you with love and understanding
With Him your life will never fall apart
He’ll make you see how wonderful life can be
I thank God because he believes in you
Regrets of the past he knows are true
Heed to his call, he’ll light your path
He’ll be with you in everything you do
I thank God because he has given you another chance
I can see in your eyes as I take a glance
You’ll do your best; you’ll make things right
Despite the tears, you’ll never break
Most of all, I thank God for giving us a father like you
A father who is caring and loving and true
We may not always be together, Daddy
But I love you very, very very much
And I thank God for giving me a heart big enough to love you
I thank God every time I remember you
Not only today because it’s your birthday
But every single day.
This poem was written at 9:30 in the morning on September 13, 2000 (while I was in a tricycle on my way to Daddy’s house). I wrote it on two pieces of flyers I got from Chowking; then rewrote the poem on a birthday card.
I couldn’t make it to his actual birthday which was on September 10, so I visited him three days after.
That was the last time I saw my Dad. Thirteen days after my final visit, he passed away. T.T
At times, I still cry when I remember him and that sad day of our last meeting. For some reason, I didn’t want to leave him. We used to talk a lot, but that day was different. He didn’t speak much… but just before we parted, he told me: “Take care of yourself, my daughter. If somebody hurts you, I will never forgive him.”
I kissed him goodbye, rode the tricycle back home… but I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I looked at him until he was out of sight. Tears rolled down my face. He stood there watching me leave as if he knew that we’d never see each other again.
My Daddy’s last words to me show how much he cared for me. Just like most fathers, he rarely said it in words, but I have always known that he loved me dearly.
If he were here today, this is what I’d like to tell him:
I remember what you told me eleven years ago. That time I was a fragile young lady who easily cried and can barely stand on her own feet… but now I am a different person. I have had many downfalls in my life and I have learned to conquer them. I have been hurt many times and now I am stronger. There are still times when I feel vulnerable. There are moments when I get frustrated and cry, but the tears easily fade away. I have learned to embrace life’s imperfections and to accept myself the way I am. I have learned all these things from you and Mommy. You and Mom made me the person that I am today. You raised me the best way you can and showed me so much love that I have so much of it in my heart to give away… and Daddy, you were right about something that you said when I was a little girl… there would come a time when I’d meet someone to give my heart to and it would not matter who he is or where he is from as long as he cares for me and truly loves me. I have found him, Daddy. He takes good care of me and he loves me very much… so don’t you worry about me… I am safe with him and I know that he will not hurt me.
I love you from the bottom of my heart. I miss you terribly.
This song never fails to bring tears to my eyes every time I hear it. I sang it on my sister’s wedding, and that was the only time I sang it without crying.
If your father is still with you, cherish every moment you have with him. Let him know how much you appreciate everything he has done for you and for the family. Love him for his sweetness, his cheesy jokes, his hard work, his strictness, his imperfections.
I have loved mine… for everything he was… and everything he wasn’t… and that love remains and is stronger even now that he’s gone.
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