Whew, such a busy week!
Hubby and I have been going back to Seoul National University Hospital for the past few days for my blood glucose test and check-up. Thank God, my blood sugar and cholesterol are normal. (Less worry. ^^) We also had to get my medical records, biopsy slides and MRI film, and had to have my medical certificate translated in English all in two days! Good thing, there’s pali-pali culture in Korea, so we didn’t have to wait long. Since the beginning of 2011, we had been spending an awful lot of money on medical expenses. We should have been broke, but thank God (again), both our private health insurance and National Medical Insurance Plan cover most of the medical bills. I remember talking about South Korea’s government-mandated medical insurance in one of my previous posts, Doctors and Health Care in SK, but it’s just now that I’m seriously ill that I have come to realize how truly reliable, fast and systematic Korea’s national medical insurance is.
This time, my husband and I are faced with probably the BIGGEST challenge in our married life, but if you think that I am going to talk about it NEGATIVELY on this post and whine whine whine, that’s not going to happen. Instead, I would like to share with you the “good” in the “bad”… the “smiles” amidst the “tears”… our “strength” despite our “weaknesses”.
How wonderful the world would be if all of us could laugh at our troubles and fears… like a child, unmindful of life’s complexities, who lights up the world with his affable laughter.
I am sick, but not with a simple fever or a cold.
HOW I FELT:
When the doctor told me his diagnosis, I didn’t cry. I was disappointed that despite the three-month medication, I didn’t get well and my condition even got worse… but I was able to hold my tears until I got home and my husband was not there to see me cry.
The disease has been found early and I have faith that I will be healed. ^^
HOW I FEEL:
I am hopeful. I smile and laugh a lot. I try not to worry. I don’t get upset as much as before, especially with my husband who takes good care of me. Life is still normal… the best is yet to come. ^^
I’ve gained weight since I’ve started HRT. I used to have a nice figure and could wear anything without worrying about ‘unwanted bulges’, but now I look like I’m three months pregnant, though I’m not.
HOW I FELT:
I felt so insecure (at first), especially when I met people I know whom I haven’t seen in a while and I’m told that I got fat. Over the phone, I would not stop complaining to my Mom about ‘how cruel other women can be with their insensitive comments’. I stopped meeting acquaintances for fear that they would say something I don’t want to hear about my gaining weight.
Now, I eat more vegetables and fruits. I try to avoid fatty food. For the first time in my life, I’m eating healthy, yippee! ^^
I get to wear loose-fitting clothes. They are more comfortable than tight ones and can be stylish, too. ^^
I have become more sensitive to other people’s feelings. It has never been my habit to make nasty comments about others, but I have been more careful about the jokes I tell my friends and family.
HOW I FEEL:
I am more confident, not merely because of how I look, but because of what I am as a person. I care less about what other people say. I try to pay more attention to things that and people who matter most in my life.
Now the vow we have made makes more sense: “to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part”.
The Unfulfilled Plans
Even before we got married, my husband and I had made plans for our future together. We wanted to travel to different countries before we have our first child. We made names for our son and our daughter, talked about how we’d rear them… he’d be the strict father who would push them to study hard and I’d be the doting and amiable mother who would care for them and listen to them when “Daddy is being too difficult”. We have been saving most of our salaries, because we have plans of having our own business, or maybe buying a house in the Philippines… but because of unexpected circumstances, some plans are delayed… some uncertain.
HOW I FELT and HOW I FEEL:
I was afraid. I didn’t know what to do. I was more afraid for the people who care about me rather than for myself… but because I have shown them strength and optimism, they, too, show me that they are strong and hopeful. (Thank God for the light. ^^)
An uplifting and beautiful song by Don Moen says: God will make a way when there seems to be no way. This time, my husband and I, as well as my family, may seem to be groping for answers, but soon we shall realize all of God’s plans. My husband and I are not alone in our battle… and because we love each other very much, we can get through anything… we can get through this. ^^
- Doctors and Health Care in SK (chrissantosra.wordpress.com)
- Husband (chrissantosra.wordpress.com)
- What I Love about Autumn in SK (chrissantosra.wordpress.com)
- How Has Your Day Been, My Friend? (chrissantosra.wordpress.com)
- Medical insurance articles – Confused.com – Page 1 (confused.com)
- Life insurance articles – Confused.com – Page 1 (confused.com)