From Korea with Love

"I carry your heart with me… always."

Why I Married a Korean

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Every foreigner who is married to a Korean knows that multicultural marriage here is South Korea is not that easy, especially marriage between a Korean national and a Filipino. Everyday, you are faced with the challenge of “fitting in”, trying to understand and embrace a culture entirely different from yours. You have to learn and “perfect” your spouse’s language, because it’s the only way you can communicate with your in-laws. Most Korean parents-in-law won’t learn English, Filipino or whatever your native language is just to be able to talk to you, of course… and you can’t expect them to adjust to your culture. Sure they will respect you and your culture, but you will always be expected to act, speak, and do things the way a Korean daughter-in-law or son-in-law does. These challenges will come after you get married and live in Korea with your husband or wife, but right after the wedding, before coming to Korea, you will have to get through the tedious process of getting a visa.

Before getting the spouse visa from the Korean Embassy, there are TONS of documents you and your spouse will have to prepare, but even if you have brought all the pertinent documents and they have been authenticated, you and your better half will need to attend an interview with other Filipino and Korean couples, from which an official of the Korean Embassy blabbers non-stop in Korean Language, telling not-so-good things about (some) Filipinos marrying Koreans, warning Koreans about the possibility of being used for their money or for the chance of having a better life in Korea. They fail to realize that sometimes, it’s the Filipinos, particularly the younger Filipinas, who are being used and abused.

Later, the official starts asking personal questions to each couple in the room, such as: “Why did you marry him/her?”; “How long have you known each other?”; “How did you meet?”; “Were you introduced by a relative/friend? through a matchmaking agency?”; (To the Filipino) “Why are you going to Korea?”; “Do you know this man/woman you married?”; “Have you met his/her family?”; “Do you know what his/her job is?”. The questions seem endless, some degrading, and you have to answer them in front of other couples who will be asked the same things.

When my husband and I had our interview in the Korean Embassy in Manila, we were quite confident that we would not be given a hard time, because we submitted all the requirements. Besides, we have known each other for 7 years before we got married and both his and my friends and family can attest to our long-distance relationship… but you see, even if you’ve got nothing to hide, you will get the same suspicious glare from the official interviewing you, so it’s normal to get nervous.

My husband was holding my hand as we were waiting for our turn to be interviewed. I remember him whispering to me: “Don’t worry. Just answer the questions.” My visa was approved without having to undergo another scrutiny, but not all visa applicants in the room were as successful. A very young Filipina was not granted the visa, because her husband is 30 years older than her. Another Filipina who said she met her husband three days ago and she couldn’t tell his name or job got her visa denied, too. Some couples were asked to stay  (maybe) for a second interview, most of whose marriages were arranged by brokers of matchmaking agencies in Korea, which, by the way, is LEGAL in South Korea, but ILLEGAL in the Philippines, according to the Anti-Mail-Order Bride Law (Republic Act 6955 Section 2):

It is hereby declared unlawful:

(a) For a person, natural or juridical, association, club or any other entity to commit, directly or indirectly, any of the following acts:

(1) To establish or carry on a business which has for its purpose the matching of Filipino women for marriage to foreign nationals either on a mail-order basis or through personal introduction;

(2) To advertise, publish, print or distribute or cause the advertisement, publication, printing or distribution of any brochure, flier, or any propaganda material calculated to promote the prohibited acts in the preceding subparagraph;

(3) To solicit, enlist or in any manner attract or induce any Filipino woman to become a member in any club or association whose objective is to match women for marriage to foreign nationals either on a mail-order basis or through personal introduction for a fee.

It makes me wonder why Filipinos are mostly the culprits when marriage between a Filipino and a Korean doesn’t end well, when in fact, our country does not approve matchmaking, and it’s Korea that legalizes matchmaking firms as long as the agency is registered and “aware of issues concerning inter-racial marriages and ethics”. There are more than 1, 000 matchmaking companies in South Korea. How does the Korean government gauge these matchmaking agencies’ “awareness of such issues”?

In the Korean Embassy, based on what I’ve heard and witnessed during the interview, Filipinos marrying Koreans are perceived as “users”. Every one of us a suspect; our Korean spouse a possible victim.

A Filipina my husband and I know shared with us her unpleasant experience in the Korean Embassy when she was applying for her visa. Because her husband was not with her, she had a really hard time and was asked to come back many times. Stressed and tired, she called her husband in Korea, and had him talk to one of the officials. They settled things right then and there, on the phone. He had to return to the Philippines for the interview. A Korean marrying a Filipino is required to attend the interview with his/her spouse.

Thank God, on the day of our interview, I was able to meet some Filipinos who might have lessened the prejudice a bit. There were couples like us, who have known each other for years and have fallen in love before finally deciding to tie the knot. One couple went to the same church and had been in a ten-year relationship before they got married. A couple went to the interview with their two children. They have lived in the Philippines for years since their marriage. The woman and her children have never been to Korea. I don’t know the rest of the story, but the woman was there, obviously, for the spouse visa. I remember them, because one of their kids kept crying during the interview and the Korean Embassy official curtly asked the woman to take her child out of the room. A man, who had been working as an engineer in Korea for years, met his wife in Korea, but they both had to go to the Philippines, so that the woman could meet his family. The man is fluent in Korean Language. He and the official spoke in Korean all throughout the interview. It seemed as if the official favored him. He wasn’t asked a lot of questions.

Of all the questions I was asked that day, there are four I recall:

OFFICIAL: How long have you known your husband?

MY ANSWER: Seven years.

OFFICIAL: How did you meet him?

MY ANSWER: I was his English teacher.

OFFICIAL: Why did you marry him?

MY ANSWER: I love him. (I remember my husband looking at me and I’m pretty sure that my face was flushed as red as a tomato.^^)

OFFICIAL: Why are you going to Korea?

MY ANSWER: I want to be with my husband. (After another question I don’t quite remember) His work and his family are in Korea. He wants us to stay there.

During the interview that follows CFO’s guidance and counseling session, I was asked this question again: “Why did you marry a Korean?”

A few days ago, someone asked me the same thing. It was meant as a joke from a drunk acquaintance. I’m tired of being asked this question. Is it such a BIG deal to marry somebody of another nationality or race? I answered him anyway, and it’s the last time I am ever going to answer this silly question: “Why I married a Korean? I didn’t marry a Korean. I married the man I love.”

I don’t have the right to judge those who marry for other reasons. I know a few Filipinas who have their own reasons for marrying a Korean besides love, and most of them are happily married and are trying their best to live good lives here in Korea. Though it is true that SOME Filipinos marry Koreans to have a better life, not only Filipinos but other nationalities, too, there are those who marry for love, and that’s the only reason… no hidden agenda. After all, life as a foreign spouse in Korea is not a piece of paradise. There are many risks to take and as I’ve mentioned earlier, “challenges to face everyday”. If you are one of those who like to stereotype foreigners like me who are married to or in a relationship with a Korean, open your mind and think before you judge or speak.

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77 thoughts on “Why I Married a Korean

  1. Hi Chris

    I just want to ask if it is possible to change status n Korea? For example, from being a visitor to spouse? Is it possible to get married in Korea on a visit visa? I would really appreciate your advice. Thanks

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  2. Reblogged this on The wondering, wandering, woman. and commented:
    Really, I would have blogged the exact same words “I didn’t marry a korean, I married the man I love” if I just haven’t seen this. Clap clap!

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  3. Ahhh my sentiments, exactly! “I didn’t marry a korean, I married the man I love.”

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  4. Hello po ate chris… i have a korean bf he is 21yrs old and me also, we’ve met in manila last feb.2014,after a while we found out that i got pregnant with him..(got easily pregnant right) heheh and after that he decided to marry me and im willing also to marry him because i loved him so much but after turning 3mos of getting pregnant it was really unexpected situation for the both of us because we lost our baby.. :((( at that time we dont know what should we do bcoz we really expected and we’re so excited with our upcoming baby but suddenly it lost.. maybe its not about time for us to be a parent’s…:((( and now me and my bf were still going stronger and we really really loved each other.ive met his family already through webcam only but it feels so good..and now He is planning to go here at philippines(gensan) to meet my family and we are planning to apply for the marriage visa…im just concern with the requirements of taking marriage visa because one of their req. Is certificate of employment which is i dont have because im just a fresh graduate.. and i want to ask how much is the cost to get marriage visa????? And is it possible to get visa even though we’re still young??? He is still studying but at the same time he is working…

    we really want to live together .. :))))

    Thank you ate chris, hoping for your response…. take care and Godbless :)))

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  5. hello ms chris..
    ask ko poh sana ung case q.bale my bf poh aq now korean.I met him last year there in Korea..i met him at my workplace and that is in the club.i met him around august and i got home by october kasi tpos na contract q that time..hanggang sa ngpnta sya dto sa pinas this february and this may para maksama aq at ang family q..then netong past few days lng namen napagdesisyunan na gsto na namen magpaksal..so ngsesearch aq kng ano yung mga requirements at ganun din sya..ang concern q ngayon is ung passport q..nung nagkorea kasi aq during 2010 and 2012 up to 2013 bale twice poh ako ngwork sa korea..nung 2010 poh kasi masyado.poh akong bata..i was only 18 so ang ginawa ng agency is ginawa nla aqng 19..laht ng details sa passport q ay tama..real name real birth month and real birthday except sa birth year q..i was really born 1991 but since i was too young when i applied they made it 1990..so un ang gamit qng passport nung una at pangalwang beses aqng ngkorea..and then paguwi ko nga this time ngpasya nko icorrect ung age q..and now finally got my passport corrected and they put my real birth year kasi un lng tlga ang mali.1990 binalik na nila sa 1991..mabuti nlng at pinalitan ng dfa ung passport q at hnd aq dumaan sa.fixer ako mismo ang nkpgtransact kng ano ggwin then they ordered me to have an affidavit for discrepancy so un ang ginawa q..at ngyon nga nasa akin na ang passport q at happy aq kasi sa wakas gamit qna ung 1991 tlga.ang iniisp qlng poh ngyon..is ano poh ba mggmg effect nun sa pagppkasal ko sa korean eh ang gamit q nuom is 1990 tpos now 1991 na.ano poh kaya ang mgndang gawin.

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  6. Hi, Riena! Sorry, ngayon ko lang ni-review ang mga past comments and messages sa blog ko. I’ve been quite busy lately. I was in the Philippines for 3 months taking care of our business there.

    Regarding your question, I am in no position to tell kung ma-a-approve agad ang interview niyo. Hindi ka naman underage, your 23, right? Kumpara sa ibang nag-aasawa ng Koreans/foreigners, mas matagal naman kayo magkakilala ng husband-to-be mo. Sabi mo, 3 months na magkakilala kayo, right? Though hindi pa enough yun para lubusan mo siya makilala, meron pang iba na days lang tapos nagpakasal na sila. Un ung mga hindi agad na-aapprove ang visa nila. Just a reminder, please please please take care of yourself. BE CAREFUL AND MAKE SURE THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT, AND YOU WERE NOT FORCED TO MARRY THIS MAN. God bless your marriage and sana everything will work out for you and your Korean husband. =)

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  7. Hi, kyuhong03@gmail.com! ^^ Sorry that this reply took long, I have been very busy taking care of our business that I barely had time to reply to comments and messages in my blog.

    Anyway, you were asking about the requirements for “legal capacity to contract marriage”, right? As far as I remember, when my husband and I were getting those documents, we were not required to submit medical certificates. We didn’t need medical certificates even when we were applying for a marriage license and when I was taking care of my spouse visa. That was four years ago, though. I am not sure if the medical certificates are now mandatory. I’ve searched the Phil. embassy’s website (as well as the Korean embassy’s) and found the same requirements we were asked to submit four years ago. Here’s the link to the requirements: http://www.philembassy-seoul.com/consular.asp#pt27

    God bless your union. ^^ Thank you for visiting FKWL. ^^

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  8. Hi, Bibi HABAB. ^^ Sa Korean embassy kinuha ng husband ko ang “legal capacity to contract marriage” niya.

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  9. Just don’t mind whatever other people say. May mga tao talaga na iba ang tingin sa mga Filipina who are in a relationship with or are married to foreigners. Tama ung ginagawa mo na hindi mo tinatanggap ung mga gadgets na binibigay niya sayo, pero kung paminsan-minsan lang naman and may special day, let’s say birthday mo or anniversary niyo, ok lang na tanggapin mo, diba?

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  10. I have a boyfriend and its Korean, actually he proposed already…. ngayon eh mag se 7months na kami smooth naman yung relationship namin.. except ngayon kasi pumasok siya sa army school…. minsan natatawa nalang ako kasi yung mga kaibigan ko sinasabi nila bakit mo siya sinagot? kayo pa ba? kasi mahal ko siya… hindi ko siya sinagot para makakuha lahat lahat ng mga gadget… actually nagpapadala siya pero diko tinatanggap kasi hindi ko namn siya sinagot dahil don….. tapos sinasabi pa ng mga friends ko abgg tanga ko daw kasi siya na mismo yung nagbibigay pero di ko tinatanggap, unang una bakit kailangan kong tanggapin kung kaya ko namn bumili diba?? atyaka hindi porke may bf ako ng korean eh lahat lahat hihingin ko sa kanya.. hindi namn ako ganun eh… atyaka hello yung mom niya is filipina…

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  11. Reblogged this on daintycorner and commented:
    Well said. People should learn not to judge someone right away. Generalizing has its place.

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  12. Hi chris, i gonna ask u about my situation with my korean bf.im having baby with him soon,i dont have any plan to marry him..and he also dont ask me bout that thing..coz were not in really serious relationship were two years since we know each other.. but we have a good relation just for the baby..i also want this baby know her father.is she have the everything right as a child to hr father.? ex: she can travel to korea with his father? and can live there as a half korean citizen? thanks reply to my.email(noviebalas_29@yahoo.com

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  13. hi po sau .san po kumuha ng legal capacity yung bf mo?thanks sana makapagreply u po agad…

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  14. I got working visa and rights all the rights to work in Korea.Because the
    officials doesn’t care about korean’s spouses to get a job here in Korea we must mannage by ourself.Nobody conect immigrants here in Okpo any officials institute just register and that’s all.The officials doen’t consider about legal
    immigrants spouses need a job here.I can manage korean and english my study level is high school degree.But is possible to work and chances maybe are a lot but YWCA Geoje Ajudong can not comunicate in english just korean shame to this Institute.If somebody knows open jobs list please do not hesitate to conect me.tictic_skoka@yahoo.com

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  15. Hi Ms. Chris. We’are about to complete all the requirements for the Cert. Of Legal Capacity. Could you please explain to me what kind of medical certifcate we need? do we need to have a general check up at general hospitals which costs around 5k to 10k pesos? or simply go to a doctor and just ask for a med cert? could you please specify which med cert is needed. Thank you. Pls email me @ kyuhong03@gmail.com. thanks so much.

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  16. I would like to thank you for the efforts you have put in writing this web site. I’m hoping the same high-grade site post from you in the future also. Actually your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own site going now. Actually blogging is spreading its wings and growing rapidly. Your write up is a great example.

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  17. This is my second comment. As you know, Korean women are thin, pretty and loyal. Who else don’t want a Korean wife? You get an good wife and an excellent housekeeper. Yes, all guys want that such a wife.

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  18. I sent a reply to your email.^^

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  19. Hi Ate Chris, honestly I just started reading ur blogs yesterday night nung nghhanp ako ng info regards sa processing at requirements for civil wedding,filipino marrying Koreans, sobrang informative at helpful tlga ung mga topics mo, can I make friends with u? I find you nice and sweet at good advicer,i have questions po sana regards sa amin ng fiance ko na korean, ano po ba ung requirements sa korean embassy sa pinas kun kukuha ng cert of legal capacity? Can u reply to me on my email-lacernamarylyn@yahoo.com

    Thank you po!

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  20. Hello Chriss:) Gusto ko lang manghingi ng advise, kc da2ting na ung partner ko d2 sa pinas on nov.18 at pag dating nya magpa2kasal na kmi, I’m 23 and he is 43 yrs old..3 months plang kaming magkakila2..nirefer sya sakin ng friend ng cousin ko ndi xa actually marunong mag english at ndi rin ako marunong mag korean, nagka2usap kami dahil sa ate qng marunong mag korean and his friend also know hiw to speak english..i know his job i know how many member are they in the family i know his family background..is it possible na ndi agad ma approve pag ininterview kmi sa korean embassy for visa???
    I need your advise ASAP..
    Please reply in my email: nalee_20@yahoo.com

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  21. Hi chrissantosra,

    I have a relationship with a korean, he asked me to marry him and because I love him I said yes. And gusto nya mgstay for 2 years muna dito sa Pilipinas after marriage ano po ba ung mga possible things na kailangan nya. I do not have the idea. Pati ung “Certificate of legal capacity to Marry”. Could you please help me. He do not speak English well so I am having hard time to explain it to him and I’m still in the process of studying Hangul.

    Kamsahamnida.

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  22. hello, chris! :)

    first of all, thank u for posting this blog because it’s really helpful to other Pinays who are getting married with a korean. honestly speaking, getting married with a foreigner is really tough, actually it’s tougher than getting married with a Filipino hubby because there’s more documents to process and after that is the “after-the-wedding-life” that you will have to deal with since you will be dealing with your hubby’s family and culture in another country..so thank you for sharing your insights and experiences :)

    ahhh.. i was meaning to ask you, me and my Korean fiance are getting married next February 2014, but I’m just a bit confused with the “Legal Capacity to Marry” requirements.. We need this document from the Korean Embassy before we can apply for the Marriage License at the City Hall, right? But I think the Korean Embassy now has made some changes with the requirements.. I tried calling them to ask for the requirements, but they won’t entertain my call bcoz they said I’m Filipina.. I just wanted to know the complete requirements.. I dunno why they have to make it so difficult.. Would you happen to know the necessary documents needed to get the Legal Capacity to Marry (updated version)? Ihank you for reading my comment and for your time.

    http://embassy_philippines.mofa.go.kr/webmodule/htsboard/template/read/korboardread.jsp?typeID=15&boardid=3739&seqno=789363&c=&t=&pagenum=1&tableName=TYPE_LEGATION&pc=&dc=&wc=&lu=&vu=&iu=&du=

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  23. Hi. Kung talagang mahal mo siya and he feels the same way for you, matino naman siya and willing pa tanggapin na may anak kana, bakit ka nag-dadalawang isip? Sa totoo lang, bibihira sa mga Koreans ang tatanggapin at pakakasalan ang babae na may anak from previous relationship. Mostly, ang parents ng Korean ang against sa ganon. Bakit mo inaalala ang financial status niya kung mahal mo nga? Sabi mo naman may business sila ng mga kaibigan niya. That means he is employed and he can fend for himself and his family. As for the family that you have to support, pwede ka naman magtrabaho sa Korea pag andito kana. Di naman lahat iaasa mo sa husband mo, diba?

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  24. I wish I will get married to a korean man
    I’m Filipino and he’s korean he is 8 years older than me

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  25. di ko alam kung mahirap b cxa o mayaman. kz ng wala cxa own business un ang sbi nia sken. napamahal na cxa sken ng sobra ayoko nrin cxa mwala pano bko makakaciguro. mahal ko pamilya ko at ayoko cila magutom. pano un pag pumayag ako magresign tpos, wala pa nmn ako saving….. pano b to love oo mahal ko,

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  26. natatakot ako, na di nia ako kayang buhayin, ako pa din magprovide mahal ko cxa pero di nmn pewdeng di na kmi kakain. pano ba to. ayoko magutom pamilya ko at ayoko din cxa mwala kz nga mahal ko cxa. bago palng kmi, sbi nia we should know better first tpos we live together then find a house then settle for your son family and us. nattakot ako he cnt provide nattakot ako mgutom…….yun lng tlaga. magtitiwala bko?? 2nd gf nia ako…. wala na rin cxaparents… ayoko n rin kz maghirap lalo. i choose to this person and to have a gud future, pano bko makaksigurado. tsaka seryoso b tlga cxa. first met we make love kz sbi nia he want to share his love and to share our love. para mapatunayan nia na im not cheated him kz first gf nia niloko cxa relation and money… pano to tulungan mko kung tma ba na sumama na tlaga ako sa kanya. hirap kz di ko pa alam kung secure future ko sa knya pls help me… answer lalo u already married to koreano.. thank you hope u read this urgent kz gulonh gulo nko. tnx

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  27. hi chris, diko lam pano but i was falling in love this korean boy, he tell me he love and going to marry me, he told he is not rich, dont have a own business, share share lng sila ni iba nia korean frens for bussineess,natatakot ako magpakasal or naguguluhan kac hirap din kmi cnu mapro provide, samin , gusto nia magresign ako sa work ko pero wala ako assuarance kung maibibigay nia lahat sken a sa pamilya ko.pano ba un at nabbalitaan ko pa na pag nagpaksal ka sa koreano hindi ka pahahawakin ng pera ang hirap sken nun ayoko na lage ako humihingi atsaka nakakapagod un.sa south korea cxa nkatira. patay na parents nia and hes only son. i just want to secure my future and my finacial stable sa knya kz may anak nrin ako, pero willing cxa natanggapin un, nattakot ako, financially di nia maprovide baka ako pa magsuffer, pano b to tulungan muna man ako. Pero Mahal ko i just iwant to secure our future. gusto ko lang malaman baka lalo lng kmi mhirapan.ako lang inaasahan sa pamilya, im nothing material thing ang akin lng pagkain sa araw arw clothing ung important needs.

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  28. talagang mahigpit sila?? lalo na ba sa pera , ibig sabihin magugutom ka pala

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  29. Zendie, medyo late ang reply ko… di ko rin agad nabasa ang post mo. Lahat naman tayo may “ideal man”, diba? Ako din naman noong single pa ako, may ideal man ako, and hindi ko inisip na ang magiging husband ko pala ay Korean. In fact, I never dreamt of marrying a Korean. Matagal din kasi akong nagtutor ng mga Korean adults mula ng university student pa lang ako, and base sa character ng ibang Koreans na tinuruan ko, hindi ganoon ang pinapangarap kong makasama habang buhay… but unexpectedly nga, I fell in love with a Korean, and napakabait and mapagmahal ng asawa ko. Ang point ko, Zendie… right now, attracted ka sa mga Korean men, but you’ll never know sa paglipas ng panahon, may ma-meet ka na hindi naman siya Korean pero siya pala ang right person for you. It’s okay to dream of finding a Korean and being married to one, but don’t go for matchmaking ha? Mahirap kapag sa ganoong paraan mo nakilala ang husband mo. Hindi lahat ng mga Korean husbands ay mapagmahal. Tulad din ng kahit anong lahi, may mga lalaking mapagmahal, may mga nananakit. May mga faithful, may mga hindi. May mabait, may masama ang ugali. Kung darating ang pagkakataon na may makilala kang Korean na karapat-dapat naman, kilalanin mo muna and alamin ang lahat ng tungkol sa kanya and sa kanyang pamilya. Hindi ganoon kadali ang mag-asawa ng Korean. Ibang-iba ang kultura nila sa atin. Kaya bago ka mag-asawa ng Korean, dapat prepared ka na embrace ang culture nila. Higit sa lahat, marry for love, not for convenience, diba? God bless you and your friend, Zendie. =)

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  30. Hi there. In fairness sa mga Korean husbands… hindi naman karamihan ng mga Korean husbands nananakit. Marami na akong nakilala na mga Pinay na nakapag-asawa ng Korean pero maayos naman ang pakikisama ng asawa nila sa kanila. Isa na rito ang asawa ko. Ako pa nga nananakit sa kanya eh pag nagbibiruan kami or pag napipikon niya ako. =)

    Ang mahirap kasi kapag ang Pinay ay nakapag-asawa ng hindi man lang niya lubusang kakilala. Let’s say, ung na-meet niyang Korean through matchmaking, tapos ilang days or weeks lang nagpakasal na siya sa Korean. Kahit anong lahi pa ang pakakasalan mo, ke Korean, Filipino, American, etc… kung di mo alam ang pagkatao niya and ilang araw mo pa lang siya nakilala, natural na mahihirapan ka sa pakikisama sa kanya. Andyan na ung may nananakit, nang-aapi, or pagpunta mo pala sa Korea, mahirap ang buhay niya. May mga ganyang nangyayari nga dito sa Korea… pero it’s not right na generalize natin ang mga Korean husbands.

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  31. Ms.Zendie~ please never think to getting married korean. Di cla totoong mapagmahal halos lhat cla nanakit ng aswa korean woman man o foreigner lalo na mga babae galing pinas. Mababang uri tingin nla sa mga pilipina iyan ang tunay na mindset nla.mahirap mabuhay sa korea mas impyerno kung ksama ang byenan. Tsaka tungkol sa pera, mahirap na usapin yan sa knila lalo na sa aswa mu. pag nsa korea ka na swerte mu kung bigyan k ng allowance, may mga ngbbigay pero tingi prang di ka aswa… in general, napakahirap, sobrang stressful maging aswa ng koreano. Ung stress pa naman dto iba nakamamatay. Kung gusto mu mg aswa ng foreigner ibang lahi na lang wag koreano……oo nga pla aswa ku koreano kya aku nakakapagsalita ng ganito. Maaring may mabuting aswang koreano at pamilya nya kya lang baka ang ratio 1:100 ( isa lang mabait sa 100 tao) …payo lang talaga wag korean!

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  32. Hi ate chris,ngaun lng po namin nabasa tong post mu. .marami po kami natutunan kc po kaming dalawa ng friend ko like dn mg asawa ng koreano.ganun po pala kahirap ung pagdadaanan pero kahit po nalaman po namin na ganun gusto parin po namin mag asawa ng koreano kc love na love po tlga namin magkaroon ng husband na korean kc pagkakaalam po namin ibang klase po cla mgmahal.tsaka po kami ng friend ko marunong na po magsalita at mgsulat ng korean at d2 palang po sa phil.pinag aaralan na po namin ung culture ng korea at pati po ung pagkain nla inaalam namin lhat..gustong gusto po tlga namin magmahal at mahalin ng koreano.salamat po tlga sa post mu ate chris ang ganda marami kami nalaman. . Godbless po jan sa korea.

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  33. ganun ba?! yare! dapat pala mag aral mabuti ng korean language. thank u po sa reply(^_^)thumbs up sa blog na ito. godbless din po at more blessings hehehe

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  34. Hello. ^^ Noong nag-attend ako ng CFO seminar, may nakilala akong Filipino na kinasal sa Koreana. Kasama pa nga niya ang Korean wife niya sa seminar, naghihintay sa kanya sa labas. Yung lalaki, nagtrabaho sa Korea ng ilang taon. Dun na daw niya nakilala yung wife niya. Mahusay mag-Korean ang lalaki. Ung wife di makapagsalita in English, kaya yung lalaki ang ka-chika ko and translate siya for the wife. Yung procedures for visa application pag Pinoy ang kakasal sa Koreana, pareho din sa mga Pinay. I don’t think may age requirement sa pag-aasawa ng Korean. God bless you, too. =)

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  35. hi^_^ ok itong blog nyo ah, pwede ba magtanong dito? meron din bang mga lalake (filipino ofw nagtrabaho lang sa korea) at nakakapag asawa ng koreana? (pogi kasi) LoL at mahirap ba? dapat ba mas bata ang lalakeng pinoy sa babaeng korean? thanks in advance godbless

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  36. Hello, Earl. ^^ That’s very sweet of you. Thank you. You can call me “eonni”. =) I wonder where you are based now?

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  37. Hello Chris Eonni,

    I dont have any questions for you, but Id like to say that your blog is really great. Im amazed. Seriously, I didnt know that there is this kind of blog exists on the net from a Filipina. If I had found this while I was still in Korea, I could have asked you something. Anyway, as a fellow Filipino, I commend you for doing this because you’ve been providing various information to other Filipinos out there. From the application of visa in Phil to a typical Korean life. You even posted some Korean recipes, beauty products and illegal activities that are keep happening in our country related to matchmaking marriage (something like that..), which I heard some women are forced to get married by threatening their family. You’re such a big help to a lot of Filipinos. Keep up the good work.^o^

    Im also married to a Korean, and our story is a bit similar to yours. We dont currently live in Korea; for my husband works in another country. I found your blog accidentally because Im searching some info about F6. Yes, Im not a resident yet in there. I guess you know already what Im talking, so wont mention it anymore.

    It was nice to read your post.

    Yours truly,

    Earl^^

    Note: I called you eonni because I think you’re older than me (a little?), and its a sign of my respect to you. I know you dont know me, but I like to call u “Chris Eonni” bec it sounds cute and cool. ^___^ I hope I didnt offend you or ur not angry to me.

    Have a beautiful summer season in Korea! :)

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  38. You’re welcome, Angel. ^^ I’d be happy to meet you. ^^

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  39. Hello Ms. Chrissantosra :) Thank you. The dinner date turned out fine, his family is nice they treat me as if we knew each other for a long time. Thank you! I hope we can see each other in the future pag nakapunta na ko dyan! Thank you so much :)

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  40. Hi, Aishi. =) Take it easy. If you’ve got nothing to hide, wala ka naman dapat ipangamba. Sagutin mo ng maayos and HONESTLY and mga tanong. Simple lang naman ang questions: How did you meet your husband? How long have you known each other? Have you met his family? Do you know his job? Why are you going to Korea? ETC.

    BTW, ang interview sa embassy after ng kasal niyo, hindi naman before. Ang interview sa Korean embassy, para yun sa visa mo papuntang Korea. Got it?

    God bless you and your husband. ^^

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  41. Hello po kumusta ask ko lang po kung anong mga papers ang dapat namin dalhin sa korean embassy para kumuha ng capacity of marriage balak po kasi namin ng hubby ko magpakasal at balak namin pumunta next month sa korean embassy mag iisang taon palang kaming mag jowa ngaung agosto at umuwi xa ng pinas everytime may vacation xa sa work sana matulungan po ninyo ako

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  42. hello po, im aishi and im 22 year’s of age .. kasi po pareho kami nag mamadali ma ayos yung married namen ng boyfriend ko, ee about po sa interview bago ma kasal kinakabahan po ako, ano po ba isasagot ko sa tanong nila?

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  43. Hi. ^^ Malapit sa Korean embassy, meron doong mga nag-t-translate ng Korean documents in English. Doon namin pina-translate ni hubby ang docus namin. I just don’t know where exactly. Why not try to ask the official assisting you where you can have the docus translated? Si hubby he asked and the official told him the directions, malapit sa embassy. You don’t need to be with your husband to have the docus translated, pero mas maganda kasama siya so he can check the translation kung tama lahat ng info. ^^

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  44. Hello there. I just need to ask lang, my korean bf and I are planning to have a civil wedding this coming november. He handed me already his family registry and legal capacity to marry but in Korean so we still need to translate in English. Pwede na bang ako na lang mag pa transfer nun sa English or dapat dalawa kaming pumunta para ipa translate? Please advise. Thank you.

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  45. oo nga poh eh baka po sa sobrang higpit nila ngayon baka di agad ako makakuha ng visa . . baka maunhan ako ng sobrang kaba dun s mga questions nila . . sabi nga ng husband ko punta daw siya dto pinas for moral support hahah thats kind a sweet for me . . . hoping na makakuha agad . .

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  46. Well, if you have any questions, you can ask me. I’ll try to answer them for you. =)

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  47. Thank you for your advice. :) No one guide me on how to deal with them because usually it is my boyfriend who adapt our custom. Haha excited and nervous thank you so much really. :)

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  48. Thank you. =) Don’t worry, I’m sure your meeting with his parents will turn out all right. Just be yourself; don’t wear anything too short or too tight; learn a few Korean greetings and useful expressions. Ah, and prepare a little something for them, a token or a gift. ^^ GOOD LUCK. Let me hear about the meeting. ^^

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  49. I love this blog. Really. My boyfriend’s parents are coming here next week to meet my family and I. But actually I met his mom already. She is ok. And still afraid not of his family kasi only child and lumaki syang independent but with the discrimination sa mismong country nila. Yet reading your blog makes me realize that it i not so easy. Can’t get through this. Thank you anyway. :)) im looking forward to hear stories from you.

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  50. Salamat. =)

    Mas mahigpit nga daw ngayon ang pagkuha ng spouse visa sa Korean embassy. Para sa akin, tama lang na higpitan kasi maraming Pinay ang nabibiktima ng matchmaking sa Korea. Dito kasi legal yan, sa atin hindi, pero nangyayari parin. Ang mali lang nga sa Korean embassy, yung treatment nila sa mga Pinay during the interview.

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  51. Hi, Je. =) Tama ka, some Pinays and other foreigners married to Koreans aren’t that fortunate enough. Meron iilan ang nahihirapan makisama sa spouse nila, pati na rin sa in-laws. May mga hindi nakakapag-adjust sa culture dito,or nahihirapan sa pag-adjust. Most of them yung mga na-meet ang spouse through matchmaking… pero may mga alam din naman akong Pinay dito na nakilala ang husband nila through matchmaking, and maayos naman buhay nila. Dipende din sa situation… pero sana matigil na ang matchmaking na ito, kasi marami parin ang hindi nagiging maayos ang marriage nila with the Korean husband.

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  52. . . anyeong haseyo ! i love this blog so much i learned a lot from it . . you know po naranasan ko din po lahat ng descrimination sa embassy a month ago when we went there with my husband . sa batch po ata namen ngayon sobrang mahigpit na makakuha ng visa sa pagkakaalam ko din po marame ang bumabagsak sa interview for it . .kaya sobra paghahanda po sa interview gnagawa namen para ndi na maghintay na 6 months after mafailed ang interview. . well thanks po sa blog nyo . .keep up the good works po !

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  53. sOme relatiOnship dOn’t wOrk between koreans and pinay pO..i have a friend dun ayaw sya mag wOrk ng hubbY nya..kasE daw pO ang wife dpaT in hOuse lang lage..
    Naawa akO kasi wla na syang iBang mgawa kunDi umiyak because of her situation..
    I guess thOse whO pinay na nkilala ang husband nla thrOugh matchmakiNg is really regretful..
    I mean hindi mu pwedeng lOve mu agad ang isang stranger

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  54. Thank you for visiting again, Chris. =) Likewise, I wonder how it is with foreign men dating or married to Korean women. I’ll be looking forward to reading about it in your blog. =)

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  55. Thanks for this one! I very much enjoy reading these kinds of posts, especially. I have a Korean girlfriend – and I have guy-friends who are married to Korean women, so I really have been interested to hear from foreign women married to or dating Korean men.

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  56. Ok naman, di na masyado malamig. Spring is coming. ^^

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  57. ahh ganun ba ate cris.. ngayon parang dumadami na mga requirements. Yung physical check or medical check up one requirements na rin now. Thanks ate cris for the reply. ^_^ by the way muzta dyan sa korea..

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  58. Hi! ^^ Yung interview sa post hindi yun for the certificate of legal capacity to marry. Ito ung interview after niyo na makasal. You will have to go through this interview to get a visa papunta Korea. Para saan ba yang physical check na sinasabi mo? I don’t remember getting that one. During my time, hindi yan isa sa mga requirements for the spouse visa.

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  59. hi ate cris.. i will ask pala.. yung interview ninyo with your husbee sa embassy..is that an interview in getting legal capacity to marry document??
    and another question saan yung pwedeng hospital na magconduct ng physical check for korean visa in Manila? Can u recommend me a name of hospital coz i really don’t have idea..thanks ^___^

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  60. Hi! ^^ We have to understand, dala ng pagiging masyadong bata ng ibang mga Pinay na kinakasal sa mga Koreans, kadalasan ganun talaga sila umasta, pero marami naman sa mga Pinay na nakilala ko dito ang may matured thinking.

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  61. Hello Chris! Yep. Been to the korean embassy with h2b last December to get the certificate of legal capacity to marry and I was initially mistreated by one of their personnel and some pinays din dun. Mga bata pa talaga lahat sila… I mean, way way younger than their hubbies… As young as 17 ung girl tapos ang korean partner is 39… 39 ata yung youngest dun when we went there. Oldest is more than 60plus na ung age. I still respect naman our co-pinays who were there, kaso may attitude din ung iba pala eh. I was asking some a bit of info lng coz I had poor visual acuity taz inirapan ba naman ako. Hahai. Sariling sikap nlng hehe. Taz sa room where we were asked to wait while the korean partners were interviewed, nag compare2 sila ng age gaps. Iba as big as 30yrs ung gap. Taz patalbugan ng jobs ng asawa. Pero I didn’t really mind.
    Taz ung isa na inirapan aq, she suddenly asked me,
    “ikaw. Ilang taon kana? Ung koreano?”

    Taz sabi q,”I’m 26.. He’s 27.”
    Nagulat xa kasi almost the same age lng kami…

    Taz she asked,”ah, so buntis kah?”
    (Ouch!)
    “Hmmm aie hindi. Inaantay pa namin ang kasal namin this march.”

    “Bakit sa march pa, ang tagal naman.Baka iwanan ka nyan.”
    (Aie ouch!)
    “Ah hindi. Mahal nya q. Sa church kasi kami ikakasal kya dapat paghandaan ng mejo matagal2.”

    Taz last niyang sinabe,”taray.”

    Taz nung kami na ang ininterview, kasi tinanong kami about our educational background.. she knew na nurse pala q and I finished my masters degree… So after nun, todo pansin na sila lahat sakin tas tanong2 about our love life. Hindi nya ko jina-judge. But out of the 10-15 na pinays dun, may isa naman na naging instant friend q dun. She’s the 2nd youngest sa group at xa lng ang hindi aq dineadma hehe. Plano q hanapin xa sa Korea para at least naman we can help each other :)

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  62. Thank you, Gabi. ^^ You’re right. I don’t want to sound melodramatic, but even when two people truly love each other, there will always be challenges trying to “shake” or “break” their relationship. Thank God, my husband and I have learned to understand each other, and we really fought for our right to be together.

    Take care. Have a great year! ^^

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  63. Hi, Kimberly. ^^ Hindi talaga ganon kadali, pero basta legal ang lahat and may understanding ang ikakasal, be it out of love or for whatever reason, it will make everything easier.

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  64. HI! so nice naman sa mga kwento.. hihi.. very informational. pero di ko po akalain na talagang mahirap pla kahit kasal na.

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  65. Hi, Chrissantosra! I like your article very much and I shared it with my friends (some are a bit naive, so I thank you for your sincerity. Seems than love is not enough, even in this huge world where we all live!). Fighting, dear lady!

    Like

  66. Pingback: Korean Gender Reader, November 17-23 | The Grand Narrative

  67. Yes, Regy. Thanks for reading. ^^ Maswerte tayo and ganun lang ang nararanasan natin. Ang ibang Pinay harapang discrimination talaga. Though medyo nagbago na ngayon, mas marami na ang mga open-minded about multicultural marriage. Dumami na kasi ang mga Pinay dito na may napatunayan na sa mga Koreans, and di lang Filipinos kundi ibang lahi din.

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  68. Hi! ^^ Ang taray… ^^ but I like the way you handled the interview. Noong ako naman, although di kami binigyan ng hard time ni hubby, ung ibang Pinay, especially ung mga ang babata, sinusungitan talaga sa embassy. Sabagay, kahina-hinala nga naman ung ang bata ng babae, then ang asawa parang tatay na sa tanda… pero sana man lang wag silang sungitan sa embassy, and respetuhin sila, tanungin ng maayos, and kung talagang napatunayan na illegal ang matchmaking process na ginawa, eh di wag approve ang visa. Talagang you can see how they treat them there, and it’s not fair. Ewan ko lang ngayon, baka iba na ang treatment sa mga Pinay/Pinoy sa embassy, or baka nasa official lang.

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  69. Thanks for reading, Stephanie. ^^

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  70. Thank you, Ideasman88. ^^ More power to your blog. ^^

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  71. That isn’t a rude question, Oegukeen. ^^ Koreans and Filipinos are Asians, but Filipinos are of Austronesian ethnicity, and Koreans are Altic. It doesn’t matter anyway, we live in the same world. ^^

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  72. “I didn’t marry a Korean. I married the man I love.” I really like this :)

    Sorry if this is rude, but aren’t Filipinos and Koreans technically same race?

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  73. I like your article. Keep up the good work. Thanks.

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  74. i mean my business ako sa phils yan sagot ko sorry nagkamali ako ang nasulat ko korea….

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  75. Hi Cris ako naman iba di ko naranasan yong cfo 2001 wala pa yan i mean di pa strict pag mag change status ka…naranasan ko rin yong pumunta sa korean embacy para mag apply visa at yong sabi mo na together sa room mga couples.meron dun koreana 60 yrs old ang asawa nya filipino boy heheheheh 25 yrs old pinagalitan sila ng incharge.hayyyyyyyyyy dami pa 70 yrs old na koreano at ang asawa 17 wahhhhhhhhhh….ak naman 50 asawa ko at that time ako 28 hehehehe .Ang tanong bakit daw ako punta ng korea sagot ko gusto ko ma meet ang inlaws ko at dahil matanda na sila gusto nila ako pumunta.next na tanong gusto mo ba mag stay sa korea ng matagal???sagot ko hindi balik ako ka agad kasi meron akong business dito sa korea at di pwedeng wala ako.next tanong pano asawa mo sa korea dito ka phils???sagot ko dito ang asawa ko mag stay kaya ko sya buhayin wahhhhhhhhh….tapos agad….bigay agay visa kasi at that time may ticket na ako 2.30pm ang flight ang interview 10am yan kadali dati.Until now everytime i need visa si husband nalang ang pumunta sa embacy s manila wait nalang ako ng visa 3 working days… basta dami kana records madali lang i mean ilang beses kana pabalik balik sa korea. pero sa iba nahirapan sila…

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  76. hi chris,
    naaliw ako sa post mo na toh sis at nakakarelate ako madalas din itanong sa akin yan ayaw ko lang tlaga maging bastos kaya sinasagot ko pa din minsan ngj naiisip ko hnd ba pwdeng i got married with the man i love minsan hnd pa sila konteto sa sagot na yon eh…kkk! hnd ko rin naman sila masisi yng iba kasi mababa tingin sa iyo pag filipina ka… buti nlang yng husband ko open-minded ^^

    Like

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